i just blank out, couldn't think of what's the first line, and subsequently i just feel like dying out there. it's not i am afraid or what, just i know i really didn't prepare it well. i dislike myself for that. but ahh, it's over. it's over.
alright, driving lesson later. and it'll be the weekends tomorrow! :)
Wednesday, October 29, 2008 @ 9:00 AM
i feel better now. at least after calling a friend yesterday, i really feel 100x better than how i felt since Sunday or rather last week.
i guess i just need to treat _____ as a job, responsibility & commitment. i suppose it's all boils down to my time management. i mean if i can do it before, i also can do it now. i know i lost part of my personal time, but i am not the only one in the plight right now. and worst of all, i seriously don't know what i was busy at/with, until i was thinking last week how many hours am i really spending time with my family or rather how many hours am i at home per week. and also my studying time.by looking at the stack of notes waiting for me to hit them, or rather, highlight them. i still can't figure out where do all my 168 hours per week/24 hours per day went to. i guess i really need to manage my time really well from now.
i know i sounded kind of depressing when i told my friend that i got the negative thinking of wanting to ____ the ____ . and the first thing that he said was, you got to be more responsible. even you think you really did nothing, then go and do something. sound easier than done i supposed at first. come to think of it, i am not an irresponsible student/worker also. :x but i suppose the negative thinking came just sudden last week and maybe its due to the sudden lost of motivation or the force that keep me going on seems to be lost. or there's really big communication barrier between everyone of us who are in it, which makes me feel even more sian about everything. or maybe we should be more initiative to ask/to do/to whatever, rather than waiting for people to tell us what to do?
in the past, every project and proposal we did. i suppose what the lecturer wanted from us was not only what we can gain from the project/proposal or rather the individual subject itself. but something beyond that. every project/proposal we did, it's to train our responsibility, our commitment level as well as time management(which i need to stress, it's very very important). if in the past, i could do it, i could do it also now.
i feel better after everything. supposedly, step by step, inch by inch, i could achieve what i want. which is to balance out everything in my life.
thank you. for listening to my grumbling yesterday night. i feel lots of better (x100). :D
and i have no more negative thoughts or whatsoever already. i am just a happy and ordinary DD today. haha. :)
Monday, October 27, 2008 @ 11:56 AM
it's the holiday. and bravo, out to meet weiyi and friends later. till then, ciaos! :)
Sunday, October 26, 2008 @ 11:25 AM
Singapore Hit Award 2008 rocks. those Singers who have performed rocks even further. i really enjoyed myself at the indoor stadium yesterday. at least i feel better. haha. :)
because i get to listen to Eason, Fish Leong, Mayday, Liu Li Yang & Yoga singing! and of course, Fish leong sang 崇拜 & Yoga did sang 伯乐. hahaha. =p Eason performance really rocks my shoes and socks. i mean his voice is just way so cool, can? and Mayday new song is really nice. =p
alright. i know it's Sunday. i promise to study today. so i hope i can.
and because in due that i am pretty broke this month and subsequent months to come. i need a job! if not, i can practically stay at home every weekends to study, and study (which is a good idea somehow) if not,no more movies, no more shopping, no more KTV, no more going out late at night anymore. ahhh, money , please drop from the sky! haha
Thursday, October 23, 2008 @ 4:11 PM
Please do not rain tomorrow. please, just don't rain.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008 @ 8:20 PM
i hate it. i hate to scream at my brother. but too bad, i just woke up from my afternoon sleep after reaching home in the late afternoon from my MM class. and all the pms which seems to be in me for the past few days just set in at that point of time, and i feel so irritated, and it's my poor brother who took all the bad scoldings from me. i pity him sometimes. he's having his O's. but come to think of it, if i don't want him to play my DS, i wouldn't have lend him. so my screaming at him is just purely out of the stupid pms. :(
i admit. this time round, i am really(x100) stress. i admit. this time round, i am lost at what am i going to do. i admit. i don't wish to do anything. i admit. instead of going to meetings and lessons happily, i feel the stress instead. i admit i screwed yesterday performance. i admit i have been acting happily when there's absolutely nothing to be happy about.
i know it's kind of a depressing entry now. i hope the pms just get it's way out soon. if not i think i am going crazy soon.
alright. till then. tomorrow Thursday. hope it will be a better day.
Escape Theme Park with the excos last Sunday. injuries day. dinner at Marine Parade. will post pictures soon. hopefully.
School on Monday,Wed & Thurs. Singing Club on Tues & Thurs. Wed Night went for tui na with Cy at Potong Pasir. and my back feel better. but the pain is now all concentrated on the neck & Shoulder. Tuesday was the worst day i ever had i think if you have read my previous post but i hope it wouldn't ever happen again. i hope my temper will really changed. and i wouldn't be petty or short tempered or whatever again lah.
Tomorrow doing up the props and all. Sunday second Orientation for the juniors and freshies all the way at the Far west at the School Hostel at Ulu Pandan. hope there will be no flour as forfeit, or whatsoever. haha hope i will have a good weekend! :)
Lunchtime performance next Tuesday Meeting with every freshies and juniors next Tuesday Driving lesson next Friday. and subsequently Tuesday and Friday!
tell me when can i get down to study and get really focus in academic stuff? :(
this song bring bitter sweet memories. somehow or rather, i don't want to remind of it. but rather, i guess there's no way i am going to talk about this without tearing away eithere. i guess i am not strong. but i do get over things really fast. but at least this song does cheer me up a little.
and yesterday wasn't really my day. i feel bad about everything i did yesterday from the time i step out of my house. it's just so horrible. and for the first horrid time in my whole life, there's people telling me straight on my face that i am a pretty straight-forward person, i always give people attitude, i don't give people enough respect, i talk in a tone as if i am super angry or what, i throw my tempers or what.i whatever whatever whatever. fine then, i am always like that. up to what you or you all want to say. but sad to say, i am not always like that. and because of what you all have said, i am just still a bit i dont' know what is the word to use about what you all have said. maybe it's because i am a super sensitive virgo. whatever.whatever.whatever.
i want my EQ back that's all for now.
Sunday, October 12, 2008 @ 10:19 AM
naive thinking & feeling. i hated that.
shoo,shoo, image of you just go away.
i enjoyed my Saturday.
Escape Theme Park later. going to change and go out soon! :)
Wednesday, October 08, 2008 @ 5:35 PM
i feel bad. she feel bad. he feel bad.
let's all feel bad together.
Friday, October 03, 2008 @ 12:18 PM
I HATE GASTRIC!
just shooo away.
:(
Wednesday, October 01, 2008 @ 4:08 PM
it's the public holiday!
alright, i am back to blog, like finally. i don't know what i am busy with last week either.
all i can remember was last Friday to Saturday morning, i was having this terrible stomachache which make me and my washroom the "good" friend. Saturday ice-skating i can't go, because i really didn't sleep well that night. so i met them at KLP later at night to watch my best friend girl. and while i was walking from Kallang to KLP, i could hear the F1 going on even though it was like so far away. but hearing it, it's just so shiok lah.
Sunday was: Cousin wedding at Park Hotel Orchard Singapore (previously known as crown prince hotel, is it?) and so, we were earlier than my cousin and cousin-in-law. in fact we were the earliest. tea ceremony and all. the lunch reception was buffet style. and i like the gown that my cousin-in-law was wearing! haha. the food was nice. but the service was shake head. My Uncle-in-law funeral was also held on that day. Mom went. and at night was F1 race! i watch it from TV. and how i wish i got the tickets to go.even to watch the car zoom past you by 3 seconds, it's still okay lah. hahahaha.
am feeling so sleepy now. i slept for 5 hours (like finally, i can sleep more than 2 hours) after reaching home at 7.30am this morning after the 1 hour and 30 mins awful ride home from Boat Quay to Pasir Ris. it was so cold, and i hate my gastric pain which attack me after i ate my supper. i can reach home at 6am plus. but the biggest problem is, i forgotten to bring my key out when i went out of my house yesterday morning to go to my aunt house because mom open the door for all of us to go out, so naturally i forgotten to bring my key. and since i decide to stay out late last night because today no school, i ask them to go and sleep and don't wait for me. (see, i am such a good girl, right, haha) so i reach home at 7.30am this morning and went to sleep till 12.30pm.
think i am going to sleep soon! :)
and shooooo away gastric pain. i got eat, i really got eat. but i don't know why i still have gastric pain. booo. :(
will post photos of open house and cousin wedding soon. (actually also not much photos lah) :p
till then.
Profile
DeDuan / DD
23, LPS, CSS, TP, SIM, 23/08/1986
shy, independent/dependent, perfectionist
music, piano, shopping, family & friends make up her life
loves cheescakes & chocolates,beach & stars wish for honours(hopefully), driving license, travel around the world, happily ever after, get a good job, diamonds, digital camera
